A: This question has been coming up lately with all the school shootings. Parents have tried to select gender-neutral toys for their children, leaving out the common toy guns from the list. With all the exposure in books, TV and store advertisements for all the cool guns with all those neat features, it is difficult to keep children from being interest in them. When no toy guns are available, children have been observed making them from other objects (pencils, rulers, sticks, their hand, etc.). Playing with toy guns alone will not increase the aggression in a child. All children develop some type of aggression. It has been noted that boys tend to be more aggressive than girls. It has not been found, however, that playing with toy guns leads to aggressive or violent behavior later. What your son has learned is how to be deceitful. He has learned that you do not like toy guns, and that he must hide them from you. He became angry when you took the toy gun away from him because he wants to play with it. A great deal of tension has already been built up around toy guns at home. It may be possible for you to control toy guns at home, but it will be difficult for you to control what he is exposed to when he is not with you. Pick your battles well and keep in mind possible set backs. Keep teaching your child good social behaviors and reinforce them when they occur. This will decrease the likelihood of him developing anti-social behaviors like hostile aggression later on.

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