Q: My daughter is a finicky eater. She never wants to eat what I prepare for the family. I have tried various things to get her to eat. These include reminding her to finish her meal, asking her to eat a little of everything that is on her plate, preparing her special meals, and using desserts as an incentive. Nothing seems to work for too long. I now find myself getting anxious and upsetting the rest of the family at meal times. I want her to eat healthy and the rest of the family to enjoy our meal. How can we change this?

A: Eating is an important function and should not be a battle. Place the food on the table and allow your daughter to decide what she is going to eat. Let her eat whatever she wishes, as long as it does not deprive the other members of the family of their portions. Explain to her that no other food is served until the next meal. In order to prevent doing battles in between meals, remove any snacks to eliminate the temptation. Forcing your child to eat foods that she does not like only increases the tension and resentment. Many adults do not eat some types of food and we respect that. If you prepare special foods for your daughter, it conveys the message that she deserves special attention. Be prepared, though. When she feels that she is not getting special attention, she may put up a bigger fuss. Ask the family members to name their food preferences and include them in your food preparation. Make sure you consider your daughter's preferences, too. Rotate the favorites so everyone gets a turn for their preferred meal. Do not use desserts as bribes. They should be offered to everyone as a part of the complete meal.

Back to Today's Family