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Adopted Children Q: We adopted our 6 year old son when he was an infant. Should we tell him that he is adopted? If so, what should we tell him about his biological parents? A: Yes. You should tell your son he is adopted. One of the most important reasons for him knowing is so he knows his own medical background. If he thinks he is your biological son, he may give medical practitioners the wrong information based on your medical history. Since your son was adopted as an infant, tell him that his birth parents made an adoption plan to make sure that he was safe and loved. An adoption decision is made out of love for the child, not hate. For whatever reason, his natural parents decided they could not care for him as well as adopted parents. This, by itself, shows how much they loved and cared about him. Be honest with your son and tell him whatever you know about his parents. Don't ever put his birth parents down. Just be open and tell him you are lucky to have the opportunity to care for him and be his parents now. Naturally, he will be curious about them and, as he gets older, his curiosity will probably grow. Don't be offended by it. It does not mean he loves you any less. Q: My children were sexually abused before I adopted them at ages 3 and 5. They are now 5 and 7 and showing some behavior problems. My mother says we should seek some help. I think we should wait until they are older before putting them into counseling. A: You should get counseling help for these children now. They may not know why they are behaving this way. However, the sooner everyone deals with these issues, the better it is for the children and the parents. This gives you a head start on the normally turbulent teen years that are usually impacted by some adoption issues. Back to Today's Family |
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